All Posts, Dreamweaver, My Writing

Unrealistic Goals and Rookie Mistakes

If you’ve been following my journey toward becoming a published author, you’ve probably noticed that my anticipated release for Dreamweaver didn’t quite happen and it wasn’t until I was staring down this impending deadline I had created that I realized I’d made a huge rookie mistake:

I set an anticipated publication time frame without understanding how long it’d actually take to research, outline, write, and polish my first novel.

The biggest eye-opener for me occurred when Spring came, and went, and I still wasn’t done writing my first draft. Like, not even remotely close. I’ve never written a book of any kind before, so everything I’ve done since ‘Day 1’ has been a part of my learning experience. How could I have known how long I’d need? I didn’t. And I set myself up for failure in that aspect because there is so much that goes into writing a novel. You don’t just sit and start with page one and write all the way to the end. It’s a labor of love, frustration, patience, and more coffee than any human should probably consume, and it is a chaotic, disorganized, daunting, and exhausting mess to navigate.

And then there was the extra stuff like learning my own unique style of organization, getting over how uncomfortable it feels to digitize everything for the sake of my poor hand, figuring out which program I’d use to compile my story in, and so much more. And on top of the learning curve I was already facing, I had to let an authentic, engaging story flow from a brain that was already rattled by other overwhelming details.

You know that dance of two steps forward and ten steps back? Yeah, that’s sort of what writing a novel is like. But in 20-inch stilettos…on ice.

This book requires more of me than I’ve ever given any other project and it’s terrifying to be under that kind of stress and pressure and know that you’re doing it to yourself. And then there’s the fact that being at home, especially with my kids, makes it so easy to just get lost in the day-to-day and let discipline slide. Sadly, the bank won’t do the same for my car loans…

Anyway, my takeaway from this has been pretty positive despite not hitting my original goal. I’ve come to understand what this process will actually entail and I have a great deal of newfound respect for those who have taken on this behemoth of a task and slayed it.

Coincidentally enough, I was scrolling through Facebook earlier and found an article titled, “10 Things Every Writer Should Do Before They Start Their First Book” and decided to give it a look since it aligned so perfectly with this post. It had some great information, but I found the first item to be especially important: manage your own expectations.

In it, the author stated, “Writing is a job, it’s a commitment. It involves long hours and painful moments, times where you feel as though you don’t know what you are doing, where you don’t feel like writing at all. You need to be realistic about what writing a book takes out of you – but then do it anyway because it’s still worth it in the end!”

And I think that will be what I leave you all with. Writing is a passion-driven and rewarding job, but it is still a job — one that requires fierce commitment and will probably provide you with some form of discomfort in one way or another.

But then you do it anyway because it’s worth it in the end.

 

All Posts, Monday Mantra

Monday Mantra

I stumbled upon a quote yesterday and it really resonated with me and my current writing headspace:

“I don_t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.”

There is so much truth packed into this small collection of sentences. ❤

I am learning to stop waiting for the “right” mood or “right” time because I get far more accomplished when I just put butt to chair and pen to paper.

So, in an incredibly short post, I share with you my mantra for today: get down to work.

More to come tomorrow — stay tuned.

 

 

All Posts

Why I’m Letting Balance Take a Back Seat

I’m starting to really dislike the word balance. Anytime I log onto social media or turn on the TV, I’m slammed with this message of maintaining steadiness within my life in all areas.

Whether it’s work/life, work/family, or just an overall sense of balance, I feel like we are being inundated with the urge to find and sustain equilibrium in order to achieve stability and happiness in our lives. And it’s starting to place a typically positive idea in the shadow of a concept we are told to avoid: perfection.

I’m not saying they are synonymous, but this strive for balance I see so frequently is beginning to remind me of the painful strive for perfection that robs so many people of the joy and contentment they are working so hard to attain.

What happens when we aim for perfection and fall short? Many people crumble under the idea that they are failing, or push themselves harder at greater personal cost to try and avoid said failure.

So what happens, then, when we also aim for balance? Better question — what happens when we aim for balance, maybe not 100%, but close, and then spend our days battling to hit this goal? Do we feel better? Like we are settling for a more realistic version of perfection? Or are we just placing more stress on ourselves when that balance is thrown off? I know that when any one area in my life loses balance, it’s like a domino effect: the rest goes catawampus with it. And then chaos ensues…

The only saving grace is that balance for me looks different than balance does for you, or Jim, Jon, or Sally, but if we are trying to get to a comfortable sense of the word, we surely aren’t half-assing it, right? We are still working toward a goal and we know what the outcome needs to look like in order to feel accomplished.

I know that if I want balance, there is a mile-long list of tasks I need to complete each and every day and things that need to be a certain way (aka, my way). But as a natural perfectionist who doubles equally as a hardcore procrastinator, I can get pretty wound up when I have a lot to do and can’t get it all done. I’ve learned to show myself compassion and to be proud of what I can get done while saving the rest for the next day if need be, but I still aim high. And that can make balance just as nerve-racking for me as aiming for perfection would be.

Granted, balance does mean acknowledging the ebbs and flows and understanding that when one side of the scale lists, it’s possible to work back to a more even level. I just don’t like feeling like I have to keep up balance for appearance’s sake.

My life is a shit-show right now and I will admit that openly. Perhaps that’s why I’m a bit cynical about such an innocent word that is supposed to have a positive connotation. Do I want balance back? Of course. But I also know why I don’t have it and that it will take a long time to get there again given my current circumstances. The real “balance” for me right now is understanding that the scale will even out eventually, even if it’s dragging its ass on the ground presently.

I guess the moral of my rant here is to remind anyone who is struggling to meet some personal or force-fed standard that it’s okay to stumble — to have an off day, week, or entire season of life — but don’t for a second buy into some limiting idea that constant balance is what is going to give you a great life or that you’re failing if you don’t have balance in your life at all times, or even most of the time.

If you’re unhappy with how things are going or with what you are doing, change it. You have that power. But don’t give an outside source, whether it’s another person or society in general, the power to tell you how to do things. Don’t let them tell you that if you don’t have balance that you’re doing something wrong. We don’t have to be perfect or balanced to be living well or achieving great things.

Besides, what’s life without a little whimsy, eh? 😉

What do you think? Is “balance” starting to feel like the new “perfect?” Or is it just me…? Leave a comment below — I’d love to hear your thoughts.