Hey, guys! Happy New Year!
I’ve been reflecting a bit as we say goodbye to 2016, which I’ve now decided is the Voldemort of all years (we must not speak its name!) and I’ve come up with some thoughts that I think round out my intentions for the coming year pretty well.
However, I can’t go much further without first touching on the losses we felt toward the end of Year Voldemort. I know it’s rampant across the interwebs, but my heart is still broken over the passing of Carrie Fisher, and it broke even further for her family when her mother, Debbie Reynolds, passed a day later. I actually received a Barnes & Noble gift card for Christmas and put it toward purchasing Carrie’s new book, The Princess Diarist. I’ll admit it was hard to read periodically – she jumped all over the place at times – but it was a great book nonetheless. Even if you’re not into Star Wars, pick it up. It’s good stuff.
We lost so many others, who I won’t list because I don’t want to create an unreal aura of sadness around this post, and their losses were felt deeply. May they all rest in peace.
Okay, on to business.
As I sat reflecting last night and throughout most of today, I found myself pouring over my current goals and projects and asking myself what I might choose as my resolution. I’ve never been one for the “new year, new me” sort of thing – mostly because I don’t find that it works – and I wanted to choose something that was meaningful to me. No cliché weight loss goal (already have that one going anyway), no daily FitBit goal, no “I’ll end this bad habit at 00:00 and never touch it again” goal. I wanted something I knew was something for me, deep down.
So I sat…and thought…and sat some more…and then I got up and walked a bit because I do already have a daily FitBit goal (haha!)…
And I came up with a pretty damn good resolution:
2017 will be the year that I live unapologetically.
And of course, I put this on Facebook and received some feedback. Good stuff, as always, because I have some kick-ass friends.
Anyway, back to deep and profound thoughts. I decided that this needed to be my resolution for a few reasons…
First, because I spend far too much of my time questioning my decisions and whether they are “right,” meaning, whether I think they appear “right.” Not whether they are right for me or my family, but whether they appear right to those who know me, follow me, or might be in either of those categories at some point in the future.
Second, because I don’t owe an explanation to anyone. Except my husband and my kids, of course, because they tend to be directly affected by choices I make. But anyone else? Psshh, nope. They can water their own side of the fence while I plant insanely bright flowers on mine.
Finally, I realized (and with great sadness) that I have been living this half-life of sorts, censoring who I am and not just putting out there the authentic bad-ass chick that is me. I spend so much time taming my inner-self and creating this false persona that I don’t let all of myself shine through, and that’s disheartening. Yeah? Yeah. And I’m done doing it!
If you haven’t committed to a resolution yet, feel free to join me, and if you do, leave a comment. I’d love to confab about how awesome this sense of freedom is.
Anyway, on to businessier-business…
Dreamweaver. This tricky little project that I’ve got going on has been giving me a hard time and while I hoped for a Christmas update, I have nothing that I’m willing to share because, well, it isn’t ready. Plain and simple. And since I’m living unapologetically, well…it just is what it is. I do hope you understand and that you continue to have patience. I don’t want to put something out to the world that isn’t ready, and so far, it is telling me that it still isn’t ready. I have discovered so many additional pieces to this story that require more time and fine-tuning to get the details just right and even though it is frustrating as hell, I know they’re going to bring this whole thing together in a way I could never have imagined when I first came up with the idea for it.
Which brings me to another a-ha! moment I had in the last few days:
Not everything I write needs to be profound or insightful to be meaningful.
It doesn’t have to move mountains. What does matter is that I write. Period. It can be absolute crap or it can be a masterpiece. It doesn’t even matter what it is. All that matters is that it’s done, and done authentically. Writing is never done well when it is forced. End of story. Pun not intended.
Once I stopped trying to push myself to only write these philosophically-fueled pieces, for Dreamweaver or a brain dump or whatever, I felt this huge weight fall off my shoulders and found the words pouring out of me again. I don’t always have to create a work of art – that’s what editing is for anyway. 😉
Those are my thoughts for going into this new year. I will live unapologetically and authentically and I will write much the same.
Oh, and since it’s technically Monday, I do have a mantra befitting of the hashtag:
“Bitches get stuff done.”
I had posted a fairly pathetic goodbye to the year which shall not be named on Facebook and a family friend responded to it. She said,
“You’re a fighter and a doer. You’ve got this…we are all entitled to a little self-pity every once in a while. It’s human. Just have to brush yourself off and keep going which I know you always do. I’m a doer which sometimes makes me a bitch but bitches get stuff done.”
So there’s my #MondayMantra. Bitches get stuff done. And it is probably the best piece of advice I will receive all year.
Okay, that’s all for now. Check back or keep up with my social media for details alluding to an update on Dreamweaver, and kick the pants off of your Monday!